What Hurts More? My Back Or My Ego?
Five common sense steps to help you move your pride aside and come back from an injury.
The ego bruise is felt way below the muscle.
In my mind, I’m 24 years old. I still think that I’m the person who can sign up for a half-marathon two weeks in advance and hit the ground running without repercussions. Softball tournament? Well, I haven’t swung a bat in two years, but of course I’m going to knock it out of the park. Let’s go! Also, remember when I used to play golf and I could drive a ball 200 yards off the tee? Why would there be any reason that I can’t still do that?
There is a very good reason. I am 43 years old. It is my ego that seems to be locked into a moment in time. My body’s reality has left my mind’s age in its rearview mirror.
And here is the thing: at 43 years old, I’ve regained the luxury of time that I took for granted at age 24. With a regular workout schedule, I’m currently in the best shape of my life. If only I could get my ego to realize that my expectations need to shape up as well.
In my twenties, my spare time was an endless void that I filled with shopping, traveling with friends, going out to bars, and then gently nursing a mild hangover on the couch. I had nothing but time on my hands. However, once I had kids, capturing free time was like turning off a ceiling smoke alarm — always just a bit out of reach and a blaring reminder that you are constantly on alert to put out potential fires. And don’t get me started on hangovers…that’s now a two day affair, minimum, and no one in their forties has time for that.
Now that my kids are at an age where they can wipe their own bottoms and get their own snack, I have recovered what was lost. I have found time to work out. Since it was time and not my desire to be active that had taken a leave of absence, I’ve been able to build in solid routines. I’m a fanatical Peloton bike rider (“Don’t call it a cult!” says the woman wearing head-to-toe Peloton apparel) and I ride six-to-seven days per week. I’ve built in a dog-walking route with a power-walking element. I’ve started lifting weights at a level and consistency I never reached in my youth. I see results. I see two of my six abs.
“Look at me! I’m invincible!” says my 24-year-old brain.
“Let me just bend over to pick up my shoes off the flo…..agggh!” says my 43-year-old body.
And then comes the injury you can’t see. It’s the ego bruise of explaining to everyone why you are limping at school pickup. “I’m fine!” I say, as I struggle to lift my daughter’s backpack. “Just a slightly slipped disc. All good!”
While my back heals, I’m now working on training my ego to stop flaring up so much. I present to you five common sense tips to support a gentle recovery routine. These are worth referring to when your brain tells your body it has the green light when you should perhaps be coasting it slowly through the yellow.
Listen to your body: Just because you used to do it doesn’t mean you have to do it. You have nothing to prove to anyone. No one is going to take away your glory days, champ. If it hurts, stop. Don’t power through and put your future activities at risk. * looks longingly over at her lonely Peloton*
Commit to consistent moderation: Let’s say you want to start running. Great! Don’t lace up and hit the pavement for a 5K at an 8:00 minute/mile pace. Run one mile at a comfortable jog. Or, run until you are tired or until your body tells you to stop. Even ten minutes of activity executed consistently can be a basis to start from and you can build from there. Your future marathons await but you won’t get there with a pulled hammy.
Do what you love: Maybe you hate running. Put down the things that don’t serve you and choose what makes you happy. Dance around the house to your favorite playlist, lay out a yoga mat for some sun salutations, pick up some free weights, or find time to meditate. If it is fun, it will stick, and consistency will be easy.
Ask for help: I’ll be honest. This is where I struggle. Just like in athletic endeavors, my ego screams at me that I can do it all. Queue up Kelly Clarkson’s “Miss Independent” as my walk-on song. Deadlines at work still exist, dishes still need to be done, floors need to be vacuumed, kids need to be picked up from after school activities, and so on. Get that ego out of the way and ask for support. Trust me. Friends, family, and trusted colleagues will step up when asked to do so.
Rest: Recovery is never a linear path. In the words of the indelible Paula Abdul, you’ll take two steps forward, two steps back. You’ve got to give your body back the gift of time. Be gentle with yourself at work. In your downtime, grab a book, binge-watch a show, and kick back when and where you can. Consider your injury the equivalent of a body hangover and it’s going to take some extra days to recover.
Above all else, remind yourself that movement, in any format, is a privilege and a gift.
And can someone please remind me to slow down and stretch the next time I hit an extra large bucket of balls at the driving range? My back and my ego would both appreciate it greatly.
This article was originally published on Medium in November 2021.
